4 ~ Trigger warning! Short but pointed opinion on IVF and Christian Couples

3. IVF AND THE CHRISTIAN COUPLE

Book now available here We continued to fix up that little Cape Cod, and Julia’s miscarriages had taken a turn to secondary infertility. I had been blessed with amazing insurance working at the bank, and we used it to its full extent at Chicago IVF, one of the foremost in vitro centers in the US. They ran tests, and then they ran more tests. They tested their tests. They tested me in humiliating ways and tested Julia in worse ways. They gave her needles and pills and recommended special diets. They corrected some endometriosis and let us know that, aside from that minor correction, we were a picture-perfect couple who should have no problem conceiving a child via IVF. We then went through multiple IVF procedures. In order for Julia to undergo an IVF procedure, she would have to artificially throw her body into ovulation so that they could retrieve the eggs, and then once the eggs were reinserted, she would have to take daily injections with massive needles of medicine that would trick her body into thinking that it was pregnant. The injections were suspended in an extremely thick oil that had to be injected with massive needles on a daily basis. Julia endured so much pain in those years trying to have a child. Month after month, she would prepare herself for treatment. Month after month, she would inject herself into massive hormonal swings, and month after month, the IVF process failed. Our lives were full, but our hands were empty. We wanted a child so badly.

So, at about five years into our marriage, we had now experienced four miscarriages and multiple failed IUI and IVF treatments in a season of infertility. I need to take this moment to encourage our readers here who sympathize with this. In good faith, I cannot recommend that anyone pursue IVF, and I wish that I had been counseled in this as a young husband. Very briefly here, the IVF process allows for a technician to retrieve as many eggs from the mother as possible. At that point, all “viable” eggs, in the technician’s opinion, are fertilized with the husband’s or donor’s sperm. The center then waits to see what eggs have been fertilized and which have failed. A mom will often have many more fertilized eggs than would be safe to re-insert into the uterus. The excess fertilized eggs are cryogenically frozen for additional IVF treatments down the road. The parents then pay a storage fee for these fertilized eggs, donate them to science or to other couples seeking IVF help. Thankfully Julia and I never had excess fertilized eggs, so we did not have to make that choice. This is quite the predicament for Christians who believe that life begins at conception. If this is true, and I believe that it is, then there are untold thousands of babies on ice in suspended animation, waiting on a donor mom who could adopt them into her uterus and give them an opportunity to be born. Russell Moore covers this far more eloquently than I can in his book, “Adopted for Life,” and his counsel to stay away from IVF is very wise. We recommend and support embryo adoption for families who feel that they can help these poor little ones, but we strongly encourage couples who desperately want to have a baby to steer far clear of IVF. This is a process that makes professionals very wealthy at the expense thousands of babies being donated to science, left in suspended animation, and many of them never to know the uterus of a mom or to be born. SEO Type jargon. Move along ... Hello, and welcome to my not a blog blog! So, I wrote a book, and I want the message of that book to get out regardless of whether or not anyone buys a copy of the book. A blog, so I hear, is a great way to take advantage of SEO and make sure that people who WANT to find content that my book covers will have a clear path to it’s happy little home in the Amazon marketplace and should then be able to walk away with a hard copy, kindle version, or Audible copy of said book. To that end, I will be releasing sneak previews and portions to each chapter over the next several weeks. Can I buy the book today? No, sorry. While it is completed, edited, and proofed, the audio version is currently being recorded by a guy with a much better voice than my own. I have no idea what I am doing in publishing, but I think I want to release it all at once. How did you get your book on Amazon? Well, I am a brilliant author, but I also used Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) that allows me to manage and upload my own manuscript(s), audio, and artwork. So what is the book about? Sovereign and Gentle is a window into my happy little family for those of you who don’t know us as well as a deeper look for those who do. The book will even be informative to some of my closest friends, as I don’t talk about much of this content often. The book opens with the prospect of either Julia or myself donating a Kidney, follows that painful journey, and then backtracks to cover some of our struggles with infertility, multiple miscarriages, foster care, and adoption. I even sprinkled in some real estate investing horror stories for you guys. The story is framed by key passages from Scripture that have been especially meaningful to me, and the climax of the book seeks to honor and praise God, who has gifted us in all things to be able to serve him in and through our struggles. Did I discuss the big church from college days that laid me off on multiple occasions and kicked us out of a house after the pastor went up the river? I did, and I don’t think I’m bitter… I think... I’m a work in progress there, but I hope that I framed that experience in such a manner that others who have been beaten up by institutions can find comfort in the one who is sovereign over all things and in His ultimate plan. Photography by Amber Andrews and by Esther Galarday photography